drop dead clothing

I'm almost definitely preaching to the converted with this entry, so trying to be even semi-intellectual would be pointless. Though this clothes line is a current anger issue and I need to write something.

As I again scroll through the site I can maybe admit that the models are pretty alright looking. Okay, Okay! They are borderline beautiful. In that redundant, blank kinda way. The female model has that creepy, anorexic look and the vests that fall off of her bones in that way just make her annoyingly sexy. The male models are also hideously sexual looking. I can't help but feel jealous, sitting here - laptop on chest - head on pillow - hand scratching beard - eyes on screen. I could never wear those clothes they are wearing though. I can't even muster up feelings of disgust for them, they are just insipid. Pleasantly bland, ultimately grey. I can however laugh.

You can see straight through the designs, it's immediately obvious that these garments haven't been crafted out of passion and love. No, no, no Somewhere down the line there has been a meeting and in that meeting discussed were the burning issues of what teenagers like and what kids want to wear and what sweets to eat. My favourite meeting would've possibly been the one where a t-shirt aptly named 'skull cones' would've been discussed...

Idiot 1: 'Oh hey, so we need a snappy, new T-shirt logo which the kids will love'

Idiot 2: Well its the summer range right? So get this, why not incorporate an ice-cream in the design, cause, who doesn't want a fucking ice-cream

Idiot 1: 'Sweet but I was thinking why not feature a really new and edgy logo which everyone will begin to wear, maybe like a skull?'

Idiot 2: 'Hey man I love skulls, they are real scary stuff. How about we have that skull on a cone, making it appear like Ice-cream but not – like, skull ice cream?'

Fucks sake. The worst thing is that the design doesn't even look that good! The skull looks squashed, resized as if the graphic wouldn't fit on the cone the first time round. The few sprinkles on its head look like genuine stains on the t-shirt itself. I'm sure in a pseudo Nathan Barley way some guy has just knocked up a bunch of half-hearted designs desperately searching for that connection with youth and then all these other people have just copied it. Worst of all the people buying this junk are copying it. The dude modelling just isn't real, he is this mullet wearing cliché who is far to happy with himself. Dude, you are just on a website and you look shit.

Other luminary items feature designs of cats, kittens, a bear on a unicycle, an angel of death, a cut up woman, some cartoon with thick framed glasses, a dog and a fox. Oh god.

I take it all back. The most interesting conference had to be the when the 'shoodie' was produced. The shirt slash hoodie. Oh my god. Pass me the gun